I said when I started this blog that I wouldn’t put pressure on myself if I didn’t write regularly. All in all, I’d give myself a B+. Very good performance, but not excellent1. I haven’t posted since August and have felt only a little guilty about it. I often feel guilty when I don’t do things because of my pain (the b-word arises) and I really didn’t want Pinches to be associated with guilt.
I am still here and still want to write about my pain and pain science. I need to practice being kind to myself and work on Pinches when I have the mental capacity to – it shouldn’t be a chore. My pain makes it hard for me to think. Between life and work since August, there just hasn’t been any brain space for Pinches.
It’s hard to describe what it feels like when I can’t think properly. I find it very hard to talk, to find the right words. Once in exasperation when trying to talk, I said “my brain closet is full“. This is the closest I can get to conveying the feeling that there is absolutely nothing left for thinking, for making decisions.
The last week has been hard, pain- and fatigue-wise. I’m very lucky that I’m in a work position that is flexible and have my awesome, supportive people around me. I can work at home if I need to. I can take a nap if I need to and pick up work again later in the day. The last two days have been better…I’ve managed to do some crosswords and am writing this pinch!
Alongside the pain, life has been really, really good. I’ve got some research and amplifying lived experience news that I’m excited to share with you too.
 I’ve been doing a lot of marking the last few weeks. I’m assigning grades to everything!